


Through Oblivion I Will Find What's Mine

by the_protector_of_light



Series: What If: Vanitas Left Xehanort [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: But hey I like to live on the edge, Castle Oblivion, Gen, Multiple Endings, Searching for what is yours, Will be destroyed by KH3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14188563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_protector_of_light/pseuds/the_protector_of_light
Summary: After Vanitas leaves behind the Thirteen Darknesses, he goes to seek the one thing he wants the most: his body, or rather, Ventus’s body, since he was the one lucky enough to win the body and the name. But Castle Oblivion is a torturous place to go through for someone whose memories are a nightmare.Multiple EndingsInspired by a comic on tumblr, though I don't know the artist.Sequel to ‘Curtains Close’, because I’m incapable of writing one-shots.Chapters 2 through 6 posted at once on April 4, 2018 because I'm impatient.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm incapable of writing a one-shot, so here's a followup to my little drabble. More Vanitas. He may be out of character, I don't know, but I love him.

Chapter 1

                Vanitas didn’t know where he was going for sure. He only had hints from what Old Master Goat-man and the others had said as to the location of Ventus’s body. There was a place where the Land of Departure once stood, far away from everything else, that lay between the light and dark. In this place, all that entered would find themselves lost to oblivion; none but Master Aqua could find Ventus there, according to the wording of the protocol that had been activated upon the world’s destruction. Now a lonely castle stood somewhere in an endless night: Castle Oblivion.

                He knew it was risky; Xehanort and the others had a base there once, and they would likely have their eyes on it even now. If he was trying to get away, going there would be the last thing that he should attempt; but if he were to find Ventus’s body, he would have to search it, and maybe he could find him without that waste of spare light. It was _his_ body, after all.

                Vanitas didn’t need Ventus’s heart. For all he cared, that part of him could fade away when Xehanort destroyed that Sora boy like he was planning. Vanitas once listened to the plans of what was going to happen to the guardians of light once they were used, but all details aside, without him and Ventus, there weren’t thirteen darknesses and seven lights, there were only twelve and six. That was fine by Vanitas. There didn’t need to be a new Keyblade War, no χ-blade, no summoning of Kingdom Hearts. All the better for none of that to happen. It didn’t affect him either way, but to be honest, the thought of another Keyblade War revolted him even now that he was separate from Ventus.

                Sora and Ventus: Xehanort needed them, but Vanitas didn’t, and maybe it would be a good idea to find some way to stop him from ever touching them. He didn’t care about them or what happened to them, not at all, but the further he got away from the old master the more his feelings moved away from respect and released more hatred. He tried not to let the emotions stew. Leaving a trail of Unversed behind was a good way to get himself caught.

                Xehanort would be coming for him as soon as he noticed his absence. Vanitas knew that he didn’t have long. He must find Castle Oblivion, storm it, and find the body before Xehanort knew what hit him. It sounded simple enough, but Vanitas knew that Xehanort was quick to act. He would send one of the others after him, probably that weird time traveling version of himself. Not that Vanitas could say much, since he was a time travel version of himself as well, but it still weirded him out a bit.

                So, Vanitas followed some annoying advice that he knew by heart, something from before he was ever torn apart by Xehanort, before he had even met the old master, something from long, long ago: ‘May your heart be your guiding key.’ As painful as it might be to even venture to search for anything in the jagged pieces of his heart that he held, he searched for it. He would find his body. It was _his_ body, after all.

                After wandering briefly in the dark corridor, he arrived at his destination. He could only assume this was the right place; though it looked like a mockery of it, the castle before him did have a similar blueprint to the one that had stood in the Land of Departure. The doors stood shut tightly, the sky above a wavering haze that obscured even the moon. He headed toward the structure.

                Pushing the doors open, he entered the white entryway. What did he know about this place, anyway? Virtually nothing. He only knew that it was a place of interest and that everyone believed that his body was here. The very thought of it made a strange feeling well up in his chest, an emotion that he knew: _longing_. The Unversed that would create would be a real trip to deal with if he couldn’t keep himself composed. Yes, what was once his would soon be again. It was only a matter of time.

                Vanitas sighed. His body, just as much as the wimp that ended up with it. The piece of trash wouldn’t even bother to remember what had happened to him, he was that messed up, such a small fragment; the one that was now known as Ventus didn’t deserve it. There was no one making any promises this time other than himself, but he would have it back soon. He _would_ find his body, and he would make it his own once more.

                He couldn’t linger. He didn’t know where he needed to go, but there was only one path, one doorway. He headed through the white room; so nondescript, a useless space. He arrived and the door and pushed it open; it clicked uncomfortably like it shouldn’t have on its own.

                And on the other side was something he had not expected. Though it was a room that once had belonged here, it wasn’t one he expected; a simple bedroom with a window overlooking a normal night, and there was someone on the bed.

                “What the fuck? I found it already?” He rushed over to the bed, where Ventus slept. He didn’t hesitate to grab the arm, but he made no contact. “What is this?” he asked, looking around.

                And there he stood, in the corner of the room; Vanitas himself, mask covering his face as he was accustomed to, chuckling softly, humorlessly, more mechanical than emotional. And Vanitas realized, he might as well not even be there.

                “You! I found you!” the other Vanitas said.

                “Me?” Vanitas asked.

                The other walked toward him but did not stop in the path, and the next thing he knew, they were one and the same. “Ventus!” his voice hissed. “Master Xehanort told me to stay away from you, that you are useless now, but you! I hate you!”

                Vanitas frowned. Was this… a memory? It felt so clear, so present, yet he wasn’t the one driving the vehicle. It was going through the motions all over again.

                “Why was it you? Why am I the one standing here awake while you’re asleep? Why am I nothing but an abomination now, a being of darkness, no body, and yet you—you! You lay there asleep, useless, lifeless, empty.” He spat on the floor. “Worthless piece of garbage.”

                He felt the rage he had felt then, and also the sorrow. “Ventus. That’s _my_ name. This is _my_ body. And what am I left with?” He took of the mask with a painful tug. “You should see it. I have a face now, but who the hell is it? It’s not mine!” He shook his head. “I thought maybe you died and gave my face back, but no. Here you are, still more dead than alive, but still _alive._ ”

                He slammed his fist into the wall. “Give my body back to me,” he demanded. “Give it back to me.” He lowered his hands down to Ventus’s neck and picked him up. “Give. It. Back!” He started shaking him frantically. “You aren’t using it! By all accounts, you never will. You woke up, but now you just fell asleep again? It’s not fair. It’s not fair!” The body was unresponsive. “Fuck it all,” Vanitas growled as he throwed him unceremoniously down on the bed once more. “I hate you.”

                He felt it all over again, the emotions that wracked his body then. The fury, the anguish, the regret. He hadn’t known back then just how unfair it was. He hadn’t known then that the one who won the right to be called Ventus didn’t even remember the life they had. Vanitas deserved that body, that name—when had he given into the name that Xehanort cast upon him, when had he stopped calling himself Ventus? The empty _shell_ didn’t remember the torment of Xehanort or anything that happened before. He couldn’t be bothered to believe that anything was missing, either. It wasn’t fair.

                Vanitas gagged. What was he doing? What was happening? He didn’t want to feel this way again. He just wanted this to be over, to find his body and get it back. It was empty now, nothing to stop him. It would be so simple. He just had to find it. He _would_ find it, and he _would_ have his face back, not Sora’s. He hated them; Sora and the one who won the name; he hated them more than life itself, and that was a pretty large comparison.

                “Why is this happening?” he breathed. “Is this… a memory?” He put his hands on his head. “Stop it! Stop it!” He felt the anger bubbling up inside him, and he felt the Unversed beginning to form. “Let me out of here. Let me out!” He shoved the mask back on.

                He knew what happened next. He went crawling back to Master Xehanort, who had punished him for disappearing for so long, for leaving at all. He never told him where he went or what he had done. He didn’t need to see that too, to feel that; none of it. It didn’t belong here and now.

                “Ventus…” Vanitas clenched his fists. “I will find my body. And it won’t be yours this time.”

                He turned around and headed toward the doorway that led out of ‘Ventus’s room.

                And on the other side was another white corridor.

                “What the hell just happened?” Vanitas demanded of the air around him. “What was that? A memory, an illusion? I don’t…” He shook his head. He would need to be prepared for whatever might come next. If there were more areas like that, he couldn’t let himself be caught off guard again.

                He supposed moving forward was all he could do now. So far, there was no sign of Xehanort or his cronies, and even through that high emotion situation he had managed not to create any Unversed. If he could keep that up, this would be a piece of cake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KHUX references to follow, but only minor since the story isn't complete and not everyone knows everything about it.

Chapter 2

                There were only two doors out of the white corridor: the one he had entered through and another that led up once more. He knew he couldn’t turn back now; the last thing he wanted to do was go through that memory again. If he ran into more, he would have to be more prepared. Reliving the past was something he didn’t want to do. Too much had happened, and who could say what all he would see?

                He sighed and headed toward the next door. How far would he have to travel before he found what he was looking for? Castle Oblivion… would he even ever make it out of here? Everyone who enters lost to oblivion but Aqua… Was this really the wisest decision he had made?

                Leaving The World That Never Was had been the right decision, he was sure, but coming here, where he knew Xehanort was watching and waiting for something to happen was laughable. It was entirely possible that the reason he wanted to come here was of the old master’s design in the first place, that he was trying to get him to come here. Vanitas was sure that he should’ve been found by now if it wasn’t anticipated. Still, he doubted that Xehanort had thought that he would leave and be searching for his body.

                He had thought he was so close; he needed to keep moving forward lest it get to his head. He had thought the body was right there, and instead there was nothing but a memory. It was infuriating. He shook his head. That didn’t matter. Now, he needed to keep climbing this castle. If he was right, and his body was here, he needed to hurry. If it wasn’t, well, he needed to find that out before Xehanort detected his absence.

                He shoved open the door and entered, not knowing what he would see there. He walked forward and found himself in a familiar place: the Keyblade Graveyard.

                “What is this?” Vanitas asked. “This place… It could be so many things.”

                Around him, the world was empty other than the long-forgotten keys of wielders that died long ago. Their hearts had faded into the distance, into Kingdom Hearts, in the age of fairytales. Vanitas shook his head. He knew so many of them, and the one who gained his name had forgotten it all. All the acquaintances and teammates, though he didn’t really have anyone who he could have called a friend back then, everyone was gone. This place had always been a reminder of that, and Master Xehanort brought him here often.

                So, he knew this was a memory, but he didn’t know what he would find here. The Keyblades seemed old and rusty, so it was likely more recent than ancient. So, this must be some time after he and Ventus had been separated; but was it before or after the battle that had ended it all for so long and brought them to where things were now?

                He looked around as he started walking. Perhaps he could make it through here without any trouble popping up like last time. After all, if it was just a room to pass through, what harm could come to him? And… what harm could come from a memory, anyway?

                He walked awhile through the pathway between Keyblades. It was peaceful in an eerie way. It felt like no one belonged here to disturb the silent serenity of this land. This must be before the final battle, when the land was returned to chaos as Kingdom Hearts was to be summoned. But he still didn’t know; why was he here, and where was the way out?

                “Vanitas, where have you been?”

                Vanitas whipped around the face the old master. His face was stern, unyielding, and in that moment, Vanitas’s confidence slipped from his body.

                “M-master Xehanort,” he said quietly, taking a step back. He took a deep breath and tried to evaluate the situation. If this was indeed a memory, this could either be the real Xehanort or just an illusion. He needed some proof to decide which it was and how to react.

                “You weren’t supposed to go off on your own,” Xehanort said.

                Vanitas smirked. Right. A memory indeed. This made things so much easier, at least if he could break through the cowardice he felt now, the desire to cower and beg for forgiveness to avoid whatever punishment that would come regardless of what he did. This was just part of the process. He had left Xehanort behind. This was just his mind playing tricks on him to make him go back to being a puppet and beg for mercy.

                “So, Master; I know that you aren’t really here. This is a memory,” Vanitas said.

                “What in the worlds are you talking about?” Xehanort said, perplexed. “What kind of trouble have you gotten into this time that has such bizarre concepts planted in your head.”

                “Right, right; I understand,” Vanitas said with a laugh. “But you see, for once, you aren’t the one in control here.” He summoned his Keyblade. “You’re nothing here.”

                “Vanitas,” Xehanort said. “Whatever’s gotten into you will be worked out soon.” He walked toward Vanitas without fear; he _knew_ back then that Vanitas wouldn’t lay a finger on his master. Vanitas had been a coward back then, too; unforgivable.

                Vanitas raised his Keyblade and rushed at the memory of Master Xehanort, but found the attack blocked by the master’s weapon after all. “Vanitas. What has gotten into you?” He jumped back and studied him closely.

                Master Xehanort; the one who had created him and promised him salvation. Forming the χ-blade was supposed to bring his suffering to an end, to end the emptiness that he felt being separated from Ventus. The pain would end, the Unversed would stop coming, and without them being destroyed, there would be no damage to himself in return. The sorrow he felt, the weakness that he was afflicted with in the form of the person he once was; the self he left behind to follow in Master Xehanort’s footsteps and do his bidding.

                “I’ll tell you what’s gotten into me. Common sense,” Vanitas said smoothly. “I know, it’s about time, right? I’m through with helping you with your plans. You can do nothing for me. No one can but myself.”

                “Vanitas, when the χ-blade is formed, all will be good for you again,” Xehanort said. “You will return to Ventus, your suffering will end.”

                “Lies!” Vanitas shouted as he rushed at the Xehanort again.

                Xehanort blocked the attack again and countered, which Vanitas blocked before launching another strike. Tit for tat, each of their attacks were prevented by the other’s. The fight was frantic, and Vanitas knew that if this was anything like the real Xehanort, this battle would not be easy. Though his old master was ancient, he was powerful and skilled. Which of them would fail first was up in the air.

                Finally, _finally_ Vanitas’s attack hit its mark, and he blocked the counter. If he could keep this up, this battle would be over sooner than later. He knew that Xehanort had more years of practice, but maybe this memory wouldn’t be as powerful. What was a memory worth, after all?

                “Impressive,” Xehanort coughed as he slowed to a stop. Vanitas stopped as well. “I’ve taught you well.”

                “Shut it, old man!” Vanitas said.

                “Calm down,” Xehanort ordered. “Whatever irritation you’re feeling will fade soon, and we’ll go back to training. The time will come soon when things set into motion.”

                “I said shut up!” Vanitas said, lunging himself forward. Xehanort’s eyes widened in surprise as he barely raised his Keyblade in time to block it.

                “Vanitas!” he shouted, shoving him back.

                “I hate you!” Vanitas roared at the memory. It wouldn’t hurt to tell this version exactly what he felt. This Xehanort couldn’t retaliate, as he would soon be gone. Simple words could be dispelled. “I hate you, and everything you’ve done! This is all your fault!”

                He bashed at the old man’s sword, knocking the man down. “If it weren’t for you, I would be whole! If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be like this! You said you could help me, but it was _lies_! All you want is your own gain!”

                He slashed into the memory of the Xehanort as his eyes widened in fear and he raised his arms to protect his body. “I’m not the monster, the abomination; you are! I’m _never_ listening to you again. I’m never going back! I. Hate. You!”

                The memory of the Xehanort faded way into nothing, leaving Vanitas stabbing aimlessly at the ground. He felt his eyes burning. “I’m not going to fucking cry!” he shouted at the sky. “I don’t care about that old man, I don’t care about Ventus! Why is this happening?”

                He growled in frustration as he stuck his Keyblade in the ground for a moment. He wasn’t going to cry; he wasn’t that weak. He hadn’t been for a long time. The pain he felt, the sadness turned to hatred long ago. Yet here he was, feeling as he did now, eyes burning, lump in his throat. He thought he was past this, but he was wrong.

                He started laughing up at the sky. “This was just an illusion, just a memory. Why does it hurt so bad?” He stood up, still laughing, and picked up his Keyblade. He shook his head and sighed. He needed to get out of here.

                He supposed he needed to keep walking forward, and soon enough he would find his way through. It was only a matter of time.

                Vanitas followed the linear path through the discarded Keyblades. He frowned. All the things that he remembered that Ventus had the pleasure of having forgotten… The first Keyblade War. Back then, when Vanitas was created, he thought that Xehanort was right, and that forging the χ-blade was the only way he could be complete again, that his suffering would end. The cost of forming Kingdom Hearts and igniting another Keyblade war had seemed so small.

                He still didn’t care that much, but it was clear to him now that Xehanort had only been manipulating him. He was only created because Ventus refused to forge the χ-blade on his own, and by telling him that things would go back to normal if it was formed; that was the entire reason he had been created in the first place.

                It wasn’t fair, but soon enough, he would find his body, and somehow, he would take it back.

                The path ahead brightened, and as he kept walking, he emerged into another white hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More KHUX references, sorry if you do not get them. Also, I'm just going to post all the updates at once because I'm impatient.

Chapter 3

                “How much further am I going to have to go?” Vanitas wondered as he walked through the white room and toward the next door. He had known that it wouldn’t be a simple task to find his body, but he hadn’t anticipated the trials that he faced on each floor. If there were more to come, he didn’t know how he would face them. He didn’t have the patience for much more.

                He was shocked that here had been no sign of Master Xehanort or the rest of the darknesses around here. Surely they had noticed his absence. Perhaps this had all been part of the plan, for him to go find his body and save the others the trouble of searching, or else the available lights were distracting them somehow. Vanitas questioned whether it was a good choice to keep moving forward. He needed to find his body if he were to be free, but he didn’t know just how much he was willing to propel Xehanort’s plans to manage it.

                He didn’t know when he started to care again. Back then, when he was first separated from Ventus, he was much the same as he had been when he was whole. He cared about the future, about everyone else. The apathy and lack of empathy for other people came later, once the pain had become too much to bear. He had begun to listen to Xehanort and thrown the rest of the worlds aside. He was willing to do what Master Xehanort wished, to forge the χ-blade and start a Keyblade war, anything to get back to normal. He had only learned the truth recently, learned how much he was being used, and now he would never go back.

                Strangely, here in this castle, things weren’t as painful. True, the scenes he had relived were emotional, but the physical pain of feeling the emotions wasn’t there, and he had managed to remain composed enough to not create Unversed, which eased the pain. Perhaps this castle wasn’t such a bad place after all.

                He stopped for a moment in the center of the white hall. What would come through the next door? Another memory, perhaps? But what would it be? If he had to face too much Xehanort, he didn’t know how he would proceed. If these memories were all his nightmares, he didn’t know how long he could maintain his composure to keep moving forward unnoticed.

                He took a deep breath and resumed walking, moving forward and walking through the doorway to face the next room.

                And he stopped. “Daybreak Town?” he questioned. “But, why would _I_ be here? I’m not whole. This doesn’t belong to me.”

                He kept walking forward. He stood in the square, near the fountain. The sun shone peacefully above. The purple roofed buildings stood over the city peacefully. A few children ran by carrying Keyblades, as was common back then. Back then, more people had them than didn’t, it seemed. It was a time long ago, a time that Vanitas hadn’t forgotten regardless of what the one who won the name had. The age of fairytales, a time that he would never have thought he’d see again.

                Back then, there were Heartless, there was danger; the wielders fought to protect the rest of the world from the dangers that they had to face every day. They had traveled from world to world, using the powers of people from the future to fight whatever threats might come their way. Daybreak Town had been gone for ages, though. The Keyblade War had taken place, the land thrown into chaos and destroyed, only recreated by the light from the Dandelions. Ventus had been a part of that.

                Now, though, that was gone. This was just a memory, but Vanitas wondered how bad of one it could possibly be. Back then, things hadn’t been so bad. He had been whole. Until he became a Dandelion leader, until the Keyblade War, nothing had been painful. Fighting Heartless wasn’t a burden, it was a consequence of wielding a Keyblade. He had never had many friends, so the war hadn’t been too great a loss for him.

                He looked down at his arms. He was the same as he had been for a long time, Organization cloak and all, but that kind of thing hadn’t been uncommon back then, nor had masks. He wouldn’t have been recognized with or without back then. He had just been another face in the crowd. He had always been alone. Being separated from his other half hadn’t been all that different, but now he was reminded of the fact that the one who had won his name had so much more than Vanitas even had. He had friends, family; Vanitas hadn’t had that for long. The Dandelion leaders were friends, of course, but they all were forced away not long after the war, and only Ventus was awakened to his knowledge.

                Vanitas headed on a path that was once familiar. Between the buildings, down the stairs that led through the town, past so many children and teens talking and playing as they prepared to go out fighting, past people fighting enemies. If this was a stop on the way, he certainly didn’t mind.

                Those days, the world was one, too massive to travel quickly between, so portals were made with Keyblades. Part of Vanitas wondered just how far this memory went, how far he could travel, but he knew he needed to pass through here as quickly as he could. Though he couldn’t think of anything bad that could happen, the longer he lingered the more likely he would be proven wrong.

                “Help!” he heard a person yell. “There’s a giant Heartless in the market!”

                Vanitas started walking faster in that direction. If there was any continuity between these memories he was passing through, it would seem that he needed to find the important event and finish it before he could move on to the next corridor. He entered the marketplace and in the center of the area stood a giant Heartless; a Darkside, if he weren’t mistaken. He rushed over. There were several Keyblade wielders gathered around the enemy, each attacking in due time. Vanitas wondered if there were any point in him even being there. This enemy would go down quickly and without difficulty with so many people fighting.

                “The worlds within this castle are made of memories,” Master Xehanort said from behind him. “Where is this place, pray tell, Vanitas?”

                Vanitas turned around. “Get lost,” he told the old master. He turned and started walking past the fight.

                “Why have you come here?” Xehanort asked, walking beside him.

                “Not of your concern,” Vanitas said. He glanced over at the old master. “I see that you didn’t even bother to make an actual appearance.” He knew this wasn’t part of the illusion; Master Xehanort would never be here. Instead, he was projecting himself from the Castle that Never Was.

                “Castle Oblivion is a dangerous place; it’s unwise of you to be here.”

                “That’s my business,” Vanitas said.

                Master Xehanort smirked. “I suppose I’ll let you play your little game as long as you are back in before the time comes.”

                “Right. Of course.” Vanitas knew that it would be a mistake to make his real intentions clear. If Xehanort didn’t know that he had left, he would surely leave him alone to continue his search.

                “If you’re looking for Ventus, know that there’s no finding him here,” Xehanort said. “We’ve been investigating this castle for years, and nothing has turned up.”

                Vanitas shrugged. “I was right, then. This is where you think he is.”

                “Indeed. Master Aqua left him in a secret chamber within this castle that no one but her would ever be able to find. It’s a futile search.”

                “Well, it’s like you said: as long as I’m back before the end, I don’t see why it should concern you why I’m here.” Vanitas laughed. “Or did you have another stupid assignment to keep me occupied?”

                Master Xehanort tilted his head. “No. I don’t see any reason to stop you. But know that the others will find Ventus first, as is spoken in prophesy. He is one of the seven lights, after all. We should let them be reunited.”

                “Yeah, yeah,” Vanitas said with a shrug. “So, what will it hurt if I push things along a little?”

                Xehanort chuckled. “Nothing, I suppose.” He stopped. “I wonder where this is. What memories are you keeping from me, Vanitas?”

                “None of your concern,” he said. “You just focus on getting everything ready.”

                “Hmph, you’re right,” Xehanort said. “I’ll let you go back to your wanderings.”

                “You do that.” Vanitas kept walking. “I just have to find the exit to this stupid place.”

                “Good luck with that,” Xehanort said. “I’ll let you know when it’s time.”

                “Right.” Vanitas looked over and the projection of Xehanort was gone.

                Vanitas turned and saw that the Darkside was defeated and now the wielders were gathered to celebrate. Simple victories; some small part of him when he was whole had always wanted to join in on the fun, but he wasn’t so tempted as to bring it to action. He didn’t have friends, nor did he care to make them. It had been lonely, but that was one constant in this world.

                But never was he lonelier than when he was separated from Ventus, and never would they be one and the same again. Even if Vanitas found his body first and took it for his own, he wouldn’t be complete without the light side of his heart. If Ventus was returned to his body first, they would never be reunited, either. The other boy was too stubborn, to intent on keeping his life separate. He would never see the bright side of being combined once more. Vanitas would always be an enemy. Finding his body first; that was the closest he was going to get to being back to normal.

                He found a disturbance in the shape of the doorway that led out of Daybreak Town. This was his exit. This had been a pointless visit. He hadn’t even taken the time to remember what had been before. He supposed it was still in his mind and what part of his heart that he had. There was no reason to focus on it now. Once he was back in his body, once he could tell Xehanort to shove it, he would have time for himself, to think, to remember.

                For now, he walked through the doorway and back to another corridor.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

                Vanitas didn’t take any time to linger in the hall before proceeding through the next entrance. He needed to hurry now that Xehanort knew that he was here. His master didn’t seem to care much either way, thankfully, but Vanitas didn’t know when the time would come where he was needed. If Xehanort was right and this search was pointless, he was wasting time; but he couldn’t make his intentions known until he had done his best to find his body.

                What would come next, what would lie beyond the next doorway? He had no way to anticipate it. He walked through the door and found himself somewhere less familiar than the last.

                Neverland. The Indian Camp, as the area was known. He knew what would happen here. Aqua would arrive. They would fight. She would win but not finish him off, leaving him laughing at her mercy, when in the end, if it weren’t for her mercy he wouldn’t be standing here now. She had won the battle, but against her light, he had won the war. She was now in the realm of darkness while he was here in Castle Oblivion. It wasn’t right, but it was the way things were.

                He looked around. Ventus’s wooden Keyblade would be somewhere around here, yet another gift from one of his friends. His _friends._ Vanitas laughed. He was jealous of them even now, and he knew that he would never have them. He was just an enemy to the guardians of light and would be even more so when he got back his body. His current allies would turn against him if they knew his intent, not that he would call them friends by any means. This was so comical. Worrying about friends. He had gotten along without them for so long, nothing would change.

                Vanitas walked to the center of the camp. Aqua would come, right? They would fight, and that would be that. Would he win this time? Did he want to win? Her anger toward him had grown back then, and without that, he would never have fought her again in the Keyblade Graveyard, and he never would have been so close to being complete again, never gone back to Ventus and gained control no matter how temporarily. But that was in the past. This was just a memory. Fighting Aqua now would be pointless.

                He sighed and shook his head. There was no point in these memories, no reason to linger in these rooms. Finding the exit was most important, seeing what came next. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he knew that there was no finding it here in Neverland. Xehanort could be right; the search could be in vain. Still… it could be worth it.

                As Vanitas headed toward the only path that led out of the camp, he saw her. He sighed. Here was where he was supposed to make his little speech of how Ventus was so weak, so useless, so childish, and how he would fall to him. Then he and Aqua would fight, he would win before she turned on him and wanted to finish him off. Same old same old mistakes he had lived out in his head before. It was a horrid feeling, really, knowing that he never really wanted to fight her.

                “Wait!” he heard from behind him. “The boy in the mask…”

                He turned to face the illusion of Master Aqua. “I don’t have time for this,” he said simply. “You’re just going to win and rub it in my face later. I said that I had you beaten back then, but I was lying to myself. You’ll always win, Master Aqua, as long as I bother to fight. So, I won’t fight this time.”

                She looked puzzled but shook her head. “Right. I am just a memory in this place, after all.”

                He tilted his head. “But… You’d know where Ventus is.”

                “I’ll never tell you.”

                “Of course you won’t; and you wouldn’t know right now, anyway.” Vanitas chuckled. “Whatever. Best of luck in your endeavors.” He turned to walk away.

                “Just like that? You aren’t even fighting?”

                “I don’t have to anymore,” Vanitas said. “This is the same old same old, same as the rest of the illusions that I’ve been through. Nothing that happens here matters.”

                She stopped. “I… I see…”

                Vanitas turned to face her. “Look, Aqua, I’m looking for Ventus. You aren’t going to help me, nor can you. You want to stop me from finding him; that’s always been your goal.”

                She summoned her Keyblade. “You won’t find him here!”

                “You’re right, not here; but he’s somewhere in this castle; and I know you don’t realize we’re in a castle, but I digress.” Vanitas shook his head. “Listen, I know you think things look great for you right now, but you’re in for a whole lot of hell soon. And I guess that’s partially my fault but screw it. Just leave me alone to find my body, and we’ll all have our chance back in the sun.”

                “Your—your body?” She tilted her head.

                “That’s right; you don’t know yet, do you? You don’t know Xehanort’s master plan, or about who I am. You’re in the dark. How pleasant that must’ve been.” Vanitas shook his head. “I don’t know why I’d tell _you_ of all people. So, I won’t.” He started walking again.

                His body: he’s the one who remembered everything, the one who suffered. He deserved the body that the light half of his heart had abandoned, not the one who won the name. His body would be his again soon, whether Master Aqua, Master Xehanort, or any other Keyblade wielder wanted it or not.

                She didn’t follow any longer, and Vanitas looked for the exit. This world was so peaceful. A pity, really, that this had been the last moment of calm before the storm for them. Ventus had it so easy. Back then, Terra and Aqua were the same. Vanitas had suffered so much pain while they were living their fairytales. They fought the Unversed, only making it worse and worse. They didn’t know what they were doing, but he knew that they wouldn’t have done any differently if they had.

                Vanitas sighed. He hoped this would be over soon; not just these memories, but his time with Xehanort. Perhaps things were getting better. He had maintained composure here in this castle and not produced Unversed. Though the memories were unpleasant, their absence was welcome. He would almost hate to leave if he couldn’t fix it.

                He found the exit and walked through and into the next white hall. He hoped it wouldn’t be much longer now.

 

                The next room was familiar. The Badlands, the empty wasteland within the Keyblade Graveyard, just another place that Xehanort used to taunt him. He started walking. This place was useless, why had he been here twice? He wanted nothing more than to leave this place, anything different than it was now. He wanted to get away, somehow.

                He saw himself there, in the middle of the empty space, staring into the distance; back when he was whole. He knew this wasn’t the one who won the name alone; this was Ventus and Vanitas, when they were together. Vanitas chuckled and walked over. He crouched in front of him, but he could tell the illusion didn’t see him.

                “Well, kid; I don’t see Xehanort around,” Vanitas said. “Maybe this was sometime when there was a break.”

                That’s when Vanitas noticed the illusion was crying. Vanitas frowned and reached a hand out, but stopped himself from touching the figure.

                “What if I left; could I leave?” the figure mumbled. “He’s gone now… But I have no way to leave, and nowhere to go.”

                Vanitas shook his head. “Listen…” He stopped. He knew the illusion couldn’t hear him, and even if it could, it wouldn’t do any good for him to say anything.

                “At least… at least Xehanort is there for me; even if he’s using me.”

                “No, no…” Vanitas looked away. “I thought that too, kid. I always thought that…” He stood up and looked out at the horizon. “I thought that Xehanort was going to fix things, to make things right, as long as I did what he said. So, I did. Back then, right here… and up until I entered this castle.”

                Vanitas started walking away but turned back for a moment. He shouted, “You didn’t deserve it! Neither of us did.” And Vanitas knew now that he was right. So much had been useless, pointless. Xehanort could never fix things. One way or another, it would be over soon; but Vanitas wasn’t going to help Xehanort.


	5. Ending One: Victory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what I started to title as the 'Bad End', but it really depends on how you look at it.

Ending One: Victory

                Vanitas walked through a final doorway and stopped to stare. There it sat… His body, leaned up in a throne of sorts, sound asleep. Vanitas knew where the heart was: it was far away, wherever Sora was. Vanitas didn’t know how he had managed to find what the Organization had sook for a decade, but he had.

                Vanitas laughed giddily. “I found it! I really found it!” He rushed over to the sleeping body and studied it for a moment.

                He frowned. Could he really get it back? Could he really take control? Could this all be over, the nightmares, the pain, the Unversed? He shook his head and placed a hand on the body’s chest. He closed his eyes. It was time now. He would get his body back. _His_ body, not the one who won the name. Vanitas would be Ventus again, and it would all be over.

                When he opened his eyes, he was seated in the chair, and the masked boy was no longer in sight.

                “What?” Vanitas said quietly, sitting straight up. “It actually worked?”

                He looked around the room frantically before looking down at his body. Indeed, he was looking back at _his_ body, the one that belonged to him, not the one who won the name Ventus. But, he felt alone, and still as empty as before. He knew why…

                Even in this body, Vanitas had no light. With the body or not, he could never be what he once was… He could never be the real Ventus, not without the one who won the name.

                He shook his head. No, this was better than how it had been. He wanted a mirror, to see his own face looking back instead of the replacement behind the mask. Luckily, there was one on the wall. He rushed over to confirm what he knew, and indeed, Ventus looked back, complete and full… but eyes golden with darkness.

                “Well, this is as good as it gets,” Vanitas said. “Time to go show off the old body to the lights—Maybe we can figure out some compromise.”

                He created a corridor of darkness and stepped through.

 

                Vanitas stood outside a massive tower. It seemed that they all had once again gathered at Yen Sid’s tower to regroup. Vanitas didn’t know who all was there, but at least Sora was, and that was who mattered. He needed to get to him; to get to the one who won the name. He walked into the tower.

                It wasn’t long before he was greeted by the sight of someone unexpected. “Aqua? They found you already?”

                Aqua lowered her Keyblade. “Ventus?”

                “More than the one you knew,” Vanitas said. “But, then again, you wouldn’t know that.”

                She raised her weapon again. “Then who—” She shook her head. “Vanitas!”

                Vanitas frowned. That name. That wasn’t his name, yet he kept calling himself it. He was _Ventus._ He would always be _Ventus._ He summoned his Keyblade in return, scowling at it when it was Void Gear instead of the one that it was supposed to be.

                “It _is_ you!” Aqua shouted. “Return Ventus’s body right now!”

                Vanitas—Ventus, laughed. “You know, it’s just as much mine as it is his, right? And he’s not using it right now.” He shook his head. “Get the rest of the wielders. I want a good fight over this one.”

                “There’s no need for that,” Riku said as he ran down the stairs, followed by Sora.

                Sora froze and his eyes widened; Vanitas knew it wasn’t Sora’s emotions showing through there.

                Vanitas lowered his Keyblade when he saw the expression; despair. Fear. Anger. And… even the one who won the name, the one he hated with all his soul… he didn’t deserve that.

                “No.” Vanitas shook his head but didn’t send the weapon away. “I’m not with Xehanort anymore,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about thirteen darknesses anymore. And… Ventus, come back.”

                “What?” Sora asked in shock.

                “This is _my_ body, and I’m not leaving it,” Vanitas assured. “But there’s still room. If Ventus returns, we will be complete.”

                “What in the world makes you think it’s your body?” Aqua demanded.

                Vanitas rolled his eyes. “You know, if I thought you’d believe a word I said, I’d tell you; but you _hate_ me. You all do. And, I can’t blame you.”

                “Ventus will _never_ take you back! He’ll get the body back from you!” Sora said. “I don’t know how I know that, but…”

                Vanitas sighed and shrugged. “Don’t say I didn’t try.” He created a corridor of darkness behind him. “Later, losers.” He paused. “And Ventus? The offer still stands, and it always will. But for now, I’m going to use _my_ body to take down Xehanort myself.” He walked through the portal, ignoring the shouts behind him and closing the portal behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep on reading! One more version of the ending to follow!


	6. Ending Two: Defeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'Good End', at least for someone.

Ending Two: Defeat

                Vanitas walked through the doorway and into an empty room with a chair in the middle, and he knew that he had been too late. This is where Ventus had been, but now he was gone.

                Vanitas laughed sorrowfully, and Unversed popped up all around him. He had maintained control for so long, but now here he was. It was over. He had lost.

                What could he do now? He couldn’t go back to Xehanort and the rest of the true Organization. So, where did he go? He had to stop Xehanort…

                He created a corridor of darkness and walked through.

 

                He stood outside Yen Sid’s tower for only a moment before walking through the entrance. He stood there for a moment and waited. He knew they would be there soon.

                And down the stairs dashed seven guardians of light.

                “Vanitas!” growled the one who had won not only the name, but the body once more.

                “Ventus. You win.” Vanitas stated.

                “What?” Ventus asked.

                “You beat me to our body, so it’s yours again,” Vanitas said. “And so, you’re back where you belong; and I’m stuck here.” He laughed, and Unversed appeared around him. He had no control anymore. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair!”

                Ventus glowered, but Sora looked concerned and lifted a hand, taking a step forward.

                “Sora! What are you doing?” Ventus said, grabbing the boy’s shoulder.

                “He’s the enemy!” Aqua reiterated.

                “Nope.” Vanitas said. “I’m not with Xehanort anymore. I’m no more your enemy than Yen Sid. Just a person standing here alone, stuck with a face that’s not mine, a name that’s not mine…” Vanitas shook his head and looked around. “Goddamn Unversed!” he said, hitting one back from behind him.

                “Not with Xehanort?” Riku asked.

                “Correct,” Vanitas said. “So, I don’t know why I even came here. You guys win. Ventus does. The lights do. There aren’t thirteen darknesses anymore. Kingdom Hearts won’t be awakened.”

                “Vanitas…” Sora said.

                “I don’t suppose you’d take me back, Ventus,” Vanitas said.

                “No way in hell!” Ventus said, gritting his teeth.

                “A pity. I would have taken you back, and I’m supposed to be the evil one,” Vanitas said with a shrug. “Whatever. Just… Do what must be done and destroy me. That way you’ll be sure that there aren’t thirteen.”

                “Vanitas…” Sora said.

                “It’s a trick!” Aqua said, raising her Keyblade.

                “I’m… not so sure,” Ventus said.

                “No tricks. No jokes. No lies,” Vanitas said. “This is how it’s going to be.”

                Sora shook his head. “You don’t have to die, Vanitas!” Sora said.

                “Sora?” Riku asked.

                “He could help us!” Sora said. “He said he’s not with Xehanort anymore!”

                Vanitas looked at him and tilted his head. “Me? Help you?”

                “Him? Help us?” Ventus said at the same time.

                Vanitas paused. “I’d do anything to kill Xehanort,” Vanitas said. “After all he did—After what he did to me, to us…” Vanitas looked down.

                “Come on, Vanitas,” Sora said.

                “Sora, no!” Aqua said. “He’s not going to help us! He’s lying.”

                Vanitas sighed. “Thanks for the thought, Sora, but you’re not going to get through to any of them. To them, I am and always have been evil.”

                “But—”

                “Let him help,” Kairi said. “Sora’s right.”

                They all looked at each other. Slowly, Aqua and Ventus nodded.

                “Huh. You guys really are the seven lights.” Vanitas said in shock. “Well… Let’s get to it, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm leaving it open-ended for obvious reasons. We'll just see what KH3 brings!


End file.
